CRACKED
“All
The News That’s Printed To Be Fit”
Updated:
11/20/04
CRACKED
MAGAZINE EDITOR COMES FACE-TO-FACE
WITH 'THE
DONALD' –
TRUMP
BODYGUARD SNAGS "TRUMP SPOOF" MAGAZINE
CRACKED # 364
FROM HIS HANDS!!!

“The
Gosar:”
“The Donald:”
Incident
left him an Scores a free copy
‘emotional
wreck’ of
CRACKED # 364
RENO, Nev. --
Scott Gosar got more than he bargained for when he "cracked" the
American Century Celebrity Golf Tournament in South Lake Tahoe with the latest
edition of CRACKED magazine spoofing Donald Trump -- a confrontation with one
of the Donald's bodyguards, who purportedly "stole" the
issue from him as Gosar approached them.
Gosar, CRACKED
Magazine's editor, brought a number of issues to pass out to celebs
ranging from Apprentice's Bill Rancic to Jim McMahon to Jesse Ventura, and
Donald Trump himself was there! (OOPS!) This CRACKED
special "Trump edition" features parodies where (A): Trump
is "fired" by God himself, and . . .
(B): CRACKED'S
own janitor gives Trump the boot,
(C): A song
tribute to Omarosa (Manigault-Stallworth).
and as a coup de gras, readers are treated to a
full page scene featuring The Donald perched upon a jewel-studded
'throne' (with dollar bill toilet paper yet!)
To hear Scott tell
it, the bodyguard spotted the Trump image on CRACKED's cover "and
just strong-armed it from me! I put up a big heroic fight, but to no
avail, as I did not want to damage my last issue." In a
subsequent investigation, we hear from other witnesses that Scott graciously
handed the copy over after the bodyguard "nicely" requested it.
Either way, no
one knows what Trump thought as he read the edition, and thus far, everyone's
afraid to ask. As for the bodyguard, rumor has it that the words
"YOU'RE FIRED" echoed all across the golf course, moments later.
The CRACKED
Trump edition is now on sale nationwide at stores and newsstands near you.
CRACKED
Magazine is the 46-year-old national competitor to Mad Magazine, and
is riding a new wave of popularity as Cheap Trick's Rick Nielsen
takes the helm as Publisher. Former publisher Dick Kulpa graciously
"Surrendered" the position to superstar Nielsen, and is now devoting
full time to content and promotion of
Nielsen
promises lots of fun and excitement in store for Cracked readers, and CRACKED
mascot Sylvester P. Smythe can now be heard to say: "We want you...to
want . . . US!

For more on
Rick Nielsen's involvement with CRACKED, check out this link:
Contact:
Dick Kulpa (kulpatron1@aol.com)
DICK KULPA
“CONS” HIS WAY
INTO
PRESTIGIOUS AWARD!

CRACKEDVILLE,
Fl -- Comic Book Conventions.com, THE top website featuring
all coming pop culture events, has just awarded its
"Connies", their 2nd Annual "Best Of" Convention Awards for
2004.
CBC.com
held its annual online poll in which hundreds of fans
and Comics Pros alike participated. Among the categories: "Best
Convention Sketch Artist", an award won by none other than CRACKED
Magazine's own Publisher/artist, Dick Kulpa! (And since last year's award
winner was famed artist George Perez, that puts us in some pretty good company!
Dick received the surprise award at last weekend's MegaCon, in Orlando, Fl.
Kulpa
has been conducting a whirlwind tour of comics conventions this past year,
delighting fans and folks around the country with full color
caricatures, superhero spoof sketches, and sketches of CRACKED'S own
characters.
As
one comics pro recently remarked, "Kulpa, you're working too hard."
To that we say: "hey, we can never work 'too hard' to please our
readers."
So
not only is CRACKED
boasts
To
see other "Best Of" convention award winners, go to www.comicbookconventions.com -- and all you Crackedheads in the New
York/New Jersey area are invited to meet Dick Kulpa -- and "Miss
Cracked" Debbie Rochon at the Super Mega Show March 12-14 in the Crown
Plaza Hotel in Secaucus, New Jersey. That's THIS weekend -- Be
there or be square! http://www.supermegashow.com/
DPS FILM ROMAN
JOINS FORCES WITH CRACKED MAGAZINE
FOR ANIMATEDPRODUCTIONS BASED ON CRACKED’S
COMEDY AND CHARACTERS
Licensing and
Merchandising Ventures based on the Popular, 45-Year Old Humor Magazine Also
Planned
Los
Angeles, CA, January 15, 2004 – DPS Film Roman announced today that it has
joined forces with Cracked Magazine
to create television and DVD productions featuring the best gags, humor, and
characters from the 45-year history of the publication. Licensing and merchandising rights have also
been optioned, with DPS Film Roman looking to create T-shirts, novelties, and
possibly a game in the near future.
“At
Cracked, our primary goal is to make
people laugh using humor that appeals to kids and the kid inside all of us,”
said Dick Kulpa, Publisher of Cracked. “I’m proud to see Cracked reach an exciting new level that will surely thrill our
generations of readers, as well as bring our unique style of humor to a whole
new audience. With our roster of
high-profile artists and writers and DPS
Film Roman’s enormously talented creative team and reputation for high-quality,
successful productions, we have the ideal partnership to help Cracked reach its full potential.”
“This
is a tremendous opportunity to expand a great brand that has already proven its
success and longevity,” added Film Roman CEO John Hyde. “We’re very excited about the endless
possibilities that Cracked has to
offer. It’s the perfect blend of
current, edgy humor and innovative, comical characters.” CRACKED was brought to DPS Film Roman’s SVP,
Head of Development and Programming Sidney Clifton by Dick Kulpa and Evelyn AR
Gabai, who will develop projects with Clifton.
SVP Business Operations Scott Greenberg negotiated the deal with
Kulpa/Gabai rep Kelly Calder at Natural Talent.
Cracked
Magazine has been entertaining readers since 1958. With its iconic character/mascot Sylvester P.
Smythe, and a supporting cast of equally quirky, hilarious, outrageous
characters; the magazine spoofs pop-culture, while at the same time providing
biting, comedic commentary on current events, movies, television, and
celebrities. Among the many popular
characters, there is “Mr. Precious,” the cat that finds a way to use up one of
its 9 lives at the end of each issue, “Nanny Dickering,” the busty
entertainment reporter who has interviewed a number of famous folks in satires
poking fun at celebrities, and “Naked Guy,” born long before Richard Hatch’s
antics on “Survivor,” he bares it all in every edition. Cracked
can be found online at www.crackedmag.com.
DPS
Film Roman, currently celebrating its 20th anniversary, is the
leading independent animation company known for the hit shows "The
Simpsons" and "King of The Hill," as well as "Free For
All," the first hi-definition animated series produced for air. Film Roman also produces Saturday morning and
syndicated kids animation, including the current top-rated series "X-Men:
Evolution." The award-winning studio is also co-producing the 3D series
"Tripping the Rift" in association with the Canadian studio
CineGroupe, which is scheduled to premiere March 4, 2004 on the SciFi
Channel. Since its founding in 1984 by
Phil Roman, the Company has won nineteen Emmy awards, and delivered several
successful animated series to broadcasters worldwide. Among those shows are
such well-loved classics as “Garfield and Friends,” “Bobby’s World,” “Felix the
Cat,” “Mortal Kombat,” “C-Bear and Jamal” and “Bruno the Kid.” A majority share of DPS Film Roman is owned
by IDT Entertainment. Other IDT
Entertainment companies are Mainframe Entertainment, Digital Production
Solutions (DPS) and
# # #
Contact:
Kristi
Blicharski
KB
Public Relations
310-371-8795
/ kristi@kbpr.net
CRACKED
PUBLISHER SURVIVES
“HARROWING”
CATARACT SURGERY
—ALMOST
DIED TWICE DURING PROCEDURE!

“My
Doctor said, ‘You have cataracts’... ‘Not me,’ I shot
back. ‘I drive a Chevy!’ “
Dick Kulpa
Cataract
Survivor
NEWSFLASH!
CRACKED
MAGAZINE’S NEW “DREAM TEAM” MAKES
EDITORIAL
DEBUT (WHO CARES)!

“Men
In Blecch”:
(from left) Mr. Gosar , Mr. Jallad
MAD
Store.Com founder and CRACKED writer Scott Gosar, along with THWAK Magazine
publisher and artist Marten Jallad, have teamed up to put an end to all those
nasty rumors implying that CRACKED was ever “number two” in a crowded field of
three American humor magazines known to exist as of this writing.
“I
know what ‘number two’ means,” says Gosar, shaking his head. “I usually make
one in the morning and again in the evening before I go to sleep. Sometimes
when I eat certain Mexican or Chinese fare, I have to make more of them.
CRACKED is not, nor was it ever, ‘number two.’ It is much more pleasant to look
at and hold in your hands.”
When
asked what might be different about CRACKED under the Gosar/Jallad regime,
Gosar was quick to point out that readers will notice a sharp reduction in
so-called “fecal humor,” that has gained prominence in the magazine in recent
years.
“
For one thing, ‘potty humor’ is being phased out of CRACKED as we speak. One
thing you will never catch me doing is making a ‘poop joke’ to get a cheap
laugh. We are far above this juvenile comedic form.”
Look
for CRACKED # 362 at your favorite newsstand in mid-February, or subscribe to
CRACKED by logging on to www.crackedmag.com

PUBLISHER
KULPA ATTENDS
“HEROESCONVENTION”
IN CHARLOTTE, N.C.
By: Dick Kulpa

SEE
PHOTOS BELOW!!!
Wow!
Having just returned from HeroesConvention held June 15-17 in
up still have me floating on air and treasuring that famed southern
hospitality. Shelton Drum really knows how to put on a show, and I must
thank CCC Promotions Director Charles Cerrito for making this all happen at
the last minute.
Though I've attended some
occurred in 1975 at the
state...I lived near Chi-town at the time!) Back then I was celebrating the
publication of my first full broadsheet satire spoof in The Buyers' Guide
for Comics Fandom, (back when Alan Light owned it) representing my first
national exposure as a comics artist. (That was the good news -- the bad
news was I forgot to sign it!)
Reception for Cracked Magazine was, I'll say..."Marvelous!" We gave
away
1,000 copies of Cracked #357, and sold hundreds of current editions. Oddly
enough, though I brought Cracked editions dating back to 1964, the main
sellers were Mega Media's Cracked editions, by far! (And I displayed many at
the same price!)
But Cracked was not there to make money. We were there to tell the world
that Cracked Magazine is alive and well, and to introduce a whole new
generation to the wonderment of contemporary satire in comic magazine form.
There's nothing better than meeting our readers one-on-one to truly gauge
what you want, and how we can best address that. And I noticed lots of
parents picking up copies for their kids -- and usually the whole run of
Mega's Cracked books on display. (I'm still kicking myself for leaving half
those editions behind -- hey, I was in a rush!)
It's hoped that folks, fans and
collectors alike will see the intrinsic
value of the aged and ancient editions of Cracked Magazine, a veritable time
capsule of its day. The covers are classic, the artistry, superb! And the
nostalgic appeal of, let's say Cracked #68, (May 1968) which spoofs Frank
Sinatra, Richard Nixon and bubble gum cards, and features works by John
Severin, Bill McCartney, Joe Kiernan and other great creatives, is worth its
weight in gold. After all, this is the Cracked Magazine your father read!
On a personal note, I finally got to meet famed inker Jim Amash (after a
long AOL online association), Alter-Ego Publisher and famed Marvel editor
Roy Thomas, as well as Thwak Magazine's Dave Newton and a host of potential
writers/artists for Cracked. TV Hulk Lou Ferrigno graciously posed for a
picture, and let me tell you, when he walked by our booth, the cement floor
literally shook! Most importantly, the numerous Cracked Magazine fans who
approached our hastily-constructed booth made this convention the huge
success it was.
Stay tuned as we "crack" more comics conventions - and spread the
word -
that Cracked Magazine is as cracked as ever. And stop by
http://www.heroesonline.com/ to check out our new pals.

Original TV “Hulk” Lou Ferrigno shreds a copy
of CRACKED # 360 before a visibly shaken Dick
Kulpa. We understand
that Lou was trying to do a
(non-existent) “Fold-In,” but the one-time Mr. Universe
let his strength get the best of him… and that poor copy
of CRACKED!

From left:
Happy Cracked fans Delvin P., Michael S. and
Matthew R. take in our latest edition, Cracked #360, at HeroesConvention!

Even female
Klingons love Cracked: Leila McMichael of the
Lenoir, N.C.-based Klingon Assault Group is caught sampling our latest
edition.

CCC Promotions
Chief Charles Cerrito, right, enjoys our latest
issue! That's his dad on the left. http://www.cccpromotions.com/
********
POMPANO
COMIC CONVENTION REPORT
By: Dick Kulpa
After a day at one of the smaller conventions (just a one-day event), I am
proud to report that we moved roughly 80 Cracked magazines at my
"buck-a-book" convention deal. This gets Cracked Magazine in more
readers'
hands, and pays the lunch AND supper tab, not to mention gas.
Stringing Cracked Magazines in a row of 10 editions works, and people tended
to buy "more than one."
Further, I started selling $5.00 sketches late in the day, and sold three. I
am going to develop a printed "Cracked" sketch sheet featuring our
logo, as
well as a "Kulpa" sketch sheet for anything else. As folks found out
I could
draw, they came around.
Associate Ty Bourdony took the pix attached, and he took many! You'll see
famed wrestler "Raven" outdo Lou Ferrigno (when it comes to tearing
up
Cracked)...plus there's a pic showing me drawing around interested Cracked
fans; There's another pic showing me with the Florida 501st Storm Trooper
Garrison, taken after they invited me to join them. That was great!
PLUS, we managed to get someone's butt crack!!!
So there you have it. Once again, a success, as compared to earlier in the
year when we'd manage to sell five editions at the same con.
POMPANO PHOTOS:

In the name of
“homeland security,” CRACKED Publisher Dick Kulpa is detained by
members of the
phone…fast!”

Dick Kulpa
draws while CRACKED fans browse the ample
selection of
“The World’s Humorest Funny Magazine.”

In what has become
one of the hottest new trends of 2003, yet another
CRACKED
mutilation is performed by the WWF’s
“Raven.”

No, no…not
“crack”…. CRACKED!
********
NEW CRACKED
T-SHIRTS COMING SOON!
Cracked Magazine has just inked an agreement with a prominent
T-shirt
company who's getting set to open a whole new realm for
humor magazine!
That got us thinking! We're sitting on so much hot property - 45 years of
archive material as well as our current crop of talented creatives - that
the entire world may soon be flooded with anything and everything Cracked!
Can you imagine how much better a CRACKED candy bar would taste if you could
read a Cracked comic strip on the inside wrapper? WAIT -- there is no
"Cracked" candy bar. Not YET!
There's no better way to start the day than with a Cracked cereal, we can
assure you -- especially if you can read a full color Simpy Dumpkins single
pager on the back of the box. (And we want those d*mned marshmallows!)
With all these TV shows and movie people contacting Cracked to use our
magazine in their features, it's just a matter of time before you'll see
things like Cracked Cola, Cracked Pizza, maybe even Cracked Spinach!
(Somehow, we don't think we'll see Mr. Precious on a bag of cat food - not
in this lifetime anyway!)
Whether it's nostalgic or contemporary, creative or just plain funny -
CRACKED has it all! Folks are finding that out, so if you want to snag our
fantastic, highly-recognized 45-year-old Cracked logo for some worthwhile
product YOU are launching, contact Dick Kulpa - fast - at
publisher@crackedmag.com
********
DUTTER,
GOSAR INVADE
6/6/03
Never being able to stay away from comic books and
humor magazines for too long of a time period, Barry Dutter and Scott Gosar
took a break from the mean, unforgiving Las Vegas blackjack tables to check out
one of Sin City’s finest comic shops.
Cosmic Comics, located at 3330 E. Tropicana, Suite
“W” (at Pecos) in LV, boasted such a great selection of “The World’s Humorest
Funny Magazine” back issues, that we simply had to snap a picture to
share with the CRACKED-heads of the world.
A big, hearty CRACKED ‘thank you’ to Cosmic Comics
owner Jim Brocius for putting up with a couple of geeky tourists and their @#$%
digital cameras!

From left:
Former CRACKED Editor Barry Dutter, current CRACKED Editor Scott Gosar
and Jim
Brocius, owner of Las Vegas-based Cosmic Comics, pose with a treasure
trove of
classic CRACKED magazines.